what do half-marathons, spinning classes, rowing intervals, dragon boating and hot yoga have in common? and what the shit does this have to do with my weight loss journey?

There comes a point — 18 km into a half-marathon, 3/4 of the way through a spinning or hot yoga class, the last 250 metres of a dragon boat race, the sprinting part of your rowing interval session — when you want to quit. Your body is uncomfortable. Your brain is telling you to quit.

The thing is, you don’t need to quit.

Sissy.

You can power through — you just have to want to do it.

And then do it. You grit your teeth, focus, and hammer through.

And when you do — it feels GLORIOUS. Okay so maybe not at the time. It pretty much still feels uncomfortable. BUT pushing your muscles to the point of uncomfortable, working-out wise, is a good thing. And when it’s finally over you’re all like “yeah, I just did that, whatevs.” (Cause you are playing it cool, right?)

Okay, so I apply this to my feats of athleticism all the time. (Except when I stop going to the gym and instead read angsteful teen fiction and eat my feelings.) I have completed two half-marathons even! Yet, when it comes to not making poor food choices, I am on the losing team, and it’s preventing me from hammering through this plateau. So, do I just need to want it more? To suck it up and hammer through? Probably, eh?

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

One of my closest friends just joined WW. (Uber proud of you, dudette!) This has got me thinking about my health and weight – where I have been, where I am, where I am going. Her commitment to her health  inspired me to revisit this blog, and I got a bit of a kick out of re-reading my ups and downs.

It’s been months since my last post. A lot has happened. I just completed my second half-marathon (21.1km) on Sunday. According to this blog, I started running November 18, 2007. So, under a year later I hammered out two half-marathons. A year (ish) ago I found running 3 km difficult/nearly impossible. It’s kind of amazing to stand back and think of it that way.

During the summer I took up dragon boating, and eventually became the co-captain of a competitive team. At the last festival we blew our best time out of the water, and I met some friendly, athletic women along the way. One of whom is now my weight lifting buddy. (Just re-started a weight lifting regime a month ago, and am already seeing results.)

I’ve also removed my head from my ass school-wise, too. I am on track to finish my MA for April.

Weight gain was a symptom of some seriously low self esteem, self worth, and confidence. I feel like I am getting back to who I am, and that feels pretty spectacular (more on this in another post, this one is already a novella an I’m not done).

I’ve quit weight watchers. I figure I learned all I could from them, and have the support mechanisms I need to succeed. Interestingly, I weigh roughly the same as I did last time I blogged. Apparently, according to my BMI, 150 is the MAXIMUM I should weigh, and I am thusly 15 pounds overweight.

I have plateaued.

Ultimately, I’d like to train for a full marathon. I have signed up for a 30 km race as litmus to see if 42.2 km is doable. Being overweight makes running harder on your body, and is bad for running economy. Have I mentioned I don’t feel overweight? I don’t. This whole BMI thing bugs me. Even though I don’t want to worry about the scale and about numbers, it is for sure in the back of my mind – especially when I step on the scale, or head out for a long run. I suspect it also bothers me because I am aware that I have stopped challenging myself to eat better (even though I continue to challenge myself as an athlete). I’ve accepted that this is the best I can do, when it isn’t, if I am honest with myself.

I don’t want to be a slave to the scale. But, at the same time, I think there is some wiggle room for me to do better food-wise. Inspired by my friend, I am going to start tracking again. I need to find the balance between obsessing and being cognisant of my weight. I am going to try harder to see if I have reached my potential, or maybe discover that I haven’t. Watching what I eat, and especially monitoring portion size, might just make me harder, better, faster, and stronger. Especially with all this running.

day 50: creating an activity calendar

There’s something about breaking that threshold of double-digit weight loss that is just really awesome. I’m still pumped about having lost my first 10 (11!).

I spoke a bit yesterday about motivating myself – especially with respect to activity. To keep myself on track exercise-wise I made a Wednesday to Wednesday calendar (Wednesdays being my meeting days) with activities I plan to do. It has boxes with activities I intend to do that I can check off upon completion. It’s not totally filled in as I might have gym buddies on one or two of the days, so I left those blank for now. I included my walk to/from work every day on there so I have something to check off 5 days out of 7. When I do something I hadn’t planned to – like going for a walk yesterday at lunch or taking the stairs – I put a little plus sign and jot down the activity. So, yesterday I checked off the box with “Run” written beside it (and the walk to/from work box) and jotted down a + taking the stairs (@ work) and a + 20 min walk under “Wednesday”. I guess I could toss this in my Quick Trak Guide thing but I kind of like having it up where I can consult it. I should probably add a column or something to keep track of points boosted. And get some markers. Or crayons!

One of the reasons I joined Goodlife (my gym) was to attend their exercise classes but I haven’t really bothered about any outside of Bodyflow (a yoga/Pilates class) so I am finally going to their BodyPump (aerobic/weight lifting) class Saturday. It is hard and I know I am going to be embarrassingly bad at it (which is why I haven’t gone) but it’s on the calendar so now I have to go.

My gym buddy totally cancelled on me last night so I went by myself and ran 8 km. Technically I ran 7 and walked 1 but whatever it is the farthest I have run ever in the whole of my existence. I might even try training up for a 10 km. The whole reclaiming my morning time thing totally did not happen today – quite the opposite actually, I slept in. My less crappy more reliable gym buddy decided we are going after work today, so I will attempt my reclamation tomorrow morning. This also means that by tonight I will I have already broken my resolution to go to the gym during off times. I suck at resolutions. As such, I am definitely not resolving to train for a 10 km run because then I will forsure not do it.

day 2: difficulty adjusting or, the importance of your afternoon delight

Ohmygod.

Musteatfuckingsaladimmediatelyorwillsurelyconsumeentiretyof

bluemenupizzaassoonasitemergesfromthedepthsoftheoven. Not enough points left to “allow” for that. Plus the whole scalded mouth thing seems like it would be uncomfortable.

Faaaaaack. Totally got home from work late and hadn’t thought to pack a snack this morning.

Never again.

day 1: “ouch.”

What’s up with your stomach having to take like 20 minutes to tell your brain: “Yo! We’re full!”? (An obvious design flaw.) And who the shit decides to diet/change eating habits the week of her fucking period when, by all rights, she should be having rage-induced, cornicopic-in-magnitude feasts consisting of Big Macs, chocolate ice cream, straight up chocolate and Pringles for dinner??!

Hello. And welcome to my blog. Here I will transcribe my weight watching efforts as well as my musings about life and food.

This week I commit to:

• FLEX
• taking the stairs
• eating more vegetables

DAY 1

So I run to save this ball that is going way out-of-bounds. I stop, arch my back so my back-bump won’t hit the ceiling, make a glorious pass – and then fall hard onto my ass. This (of course) was followed by considerable difficulty getting back up, and complete disorientation and inability to be remotely useful when I made my way back to my position at the net.

You’d think day 1 would be glorious – feeding off that high of finally making and acting on the choice to eat better, and taking ownership of my weight. Instead, I totally under-ate, misjudging how to space out food throughout the day and ended up hungry and useless on the volleyball court.