Marking Territoriy & Making Gains

There is something very empowering about weight lifting. I suspect it has something to do with being a stronger woman, and also something to do with invading the traditional guy-zone of the gym.

Move aside fuckers, I have some squats to do.

Down 4 lbs from last week. W00t! Apparently, eating better whilst maintaining a fairly high level of activity results in weight loss. Amazing. It’s practically science.

I am slightly less grumpy today.

Totally a lie, but at least I am eating better, and am back on track.

I am thinking of buying an electronic scale. The one at the gym is old school, and I’d like to see even the tiniest gains and losses. Where does one buy an electronic scale??

Re-framing

Umm, remember like 4 days ago when I said:

Luckily, I have been through this before and know that it will pass eventually. Until then I will probably be bitchy, and also resentful towards people who don’t have to try to be a healthy weight. Damn them.

Totally bitchy today.

And now I am also resentful toward people who can get through a 75 minute spinning class without nausea. Damn them and their skinny legs.

So clearly, I was in a bad mood yesterday, and am similarly attitude-ated right now. I still blame the turning down of the junk food (even with my pizza interlude. damn.) Also, I need more sleep.

How about that yesterday post? Pretty negative shit in there. But really, I had planned to use my flex points Saturday for pizza/wii day, and did. I skipped my 15 km run due to exhaustedness / I didn’t wanna, but I was hardly “lazy”. I did some weight lifting, grocery shopping, cleaning, and packed my lunch and gym bag for today. Sure, I went a little overboard on the chips on the weekend, but that doesn’t mean my whole week was all for naught.

I am trying to re-frame here. Still actually grumpy though, to be all honest and shit.

Me vs. Weekends

I work an office job, so managing what I eat during the week is pretty simple, on account of the whole schedule thing.

Drag ass out of bed. Half asleeply eat cereal. Pack a fruit for a morning snack, vegetableful lunch, 2:00 snack, and go. Go to gym post-work. Eat sensible dinner upon arrival at home. Repeat x 5.

Enter weekend. I wake up late, make poor food choices, and am generally pretty lazy.

Anyone else losing the battle against weekends?

I started today off with a bowl of Cheerios, which was, as I discovered the hard way, doused in milk that was past its prime

I didn’t puke or anything, but it was an unpleasant way to start my day.

Especially because I was all proud of myself for not going to Tim Hortons, and instead picked up milk on my way into work so I could have a nutritious breakfast. I ended up nauseated and hungry. (A lone banana is a bullshit breakfast.)

Three days into consciously eating better and tracking and I am grumpy to the max. I suspect this has a little to do with not getting enough sleep this week (and the whole milk debacle) , and a lot to do with turning down the junk food . Sure, the first couple of days are all la-dee-da, yay I am eating better w00t me. Then it gets harder. Then grumpy p4p makes an appearance.

Luckily, I have been through this before and know that it will pass eventually. Until then I will probably be bitchy, and also resentful towards people who don’t have to try to be a healthy weight. Damn them.

I want a cookie.

And by a cookie I mean an entire box of oreos, just so we are clear.

Tomorrow I am going to use some of those flex points and have a pizza and movie date with my friend. And it shall be glorious.

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

One of my closest friends just joined WW. (Uber proud of you, dudette!) This has got me thinking about my health and weight – where I have been, where I am, where I am going. Her commitment to her health  inspired me to revisit this blog, and I got a bit of a kick out of re-reading my ups and downs.

It’s been months since my last post. A lot has happened. I just completed my second half-marathon (21.1km) on Sunday. According to this blog, I started running November 18, 2007. So, under a year later I hammered out two half-marathons. A year (ish) ago I found running 3 km difficult/nearly impossible. It’s kind of amazing to stand back and think of it that way.

During the summer I took up dragon boating, and eventually became the co-captain of a competitive team. At the last festival we blew our best time out of the water, and I met some friendly, athletic women along the way. One of whom is now my weight lifting buddy. (Just re-started a weight lifting regime a month ago, and am already seeing results.)

I’ve also removed my head from my ass school-wise, too. I am on track to finish my MA for April.

Weight gain was a symptom of some seriously low self esteem, self worth, and confidence. I feel like I am getting back to who I am, and that feels pretty spectacular (more on this in another post, this one is already a novella an I’m not done).

I’ve quit weight watchers. I figure I learned all I could from them, and have the support mechanisms I need to succeed. Interestingly, I weigh roughly the same as I did last time I blogged. Apparently, according to my BMI, 150 is the MAXIMUM I should weigh, and I am thusly 15 pounds overweight.

I have plateaued.

Ultimately, I’d like to train for a full marathon. I have signed up for a 30 km race as litmus to see if 42.2 km is doable. Being overweight makes running harder on your body, and is bad for running economy. Have I mentioned I don’t feel overweight? I don’t. This whole BMI thing bugs me. Even though I don’t want to worry about the scale and about numbers, it is for sure in the back of my mind – especially when I step on the scale, or head out for a long run. I suspect it also bothers me because I am aware that I have stopped challenging myself to eat better (even though I continue to challenge myself as an athlete). I’ve accepted that this is the best I can do, when it isn’t, if I am honest with myself.

I don’t want to be a slave to the scale. But, at the same time, I think there is some wiggle room for me to do better food-wise. Inspired by my friend, I am going to start tracking again. I need to find the balance between obsessing and being cognisant of my weight. I am going to try harder to see if I have reached my potential, or maybe discover that I haven’t. Watching what I eat, and especially monitoring portion size, might just make me harder, better, faster, and stronger. Especially with all this running.