done binging
Warning: Non-Weight Watcher Content
For the last few months I have been binging pretty hard on daydreaming. For the last few years, really. A bit of fantasy is good from time to time, but spending too much time in your head is probably a bad thing.
The DOWNLOW on the cause of my lowdowns…
I get crushes on my guyfriends. Then, I daydream about what could happen, all the while ignoring the reality that I am securely situated in the friendzone and that it’s sooo no going to happen. THEN, I get disappointed when they start seeing someone they are actually attracted to.
I set myself up to be knocked down. Then, I get knocked down. Repeat.
Why the fuck do I do this? Self esteemy issues, probably.
Given that I am the Creator of this fantasyland I am pretty sure I have the authority to shut ‘er down. So, Current Crush, I shall no longer fantasize about you. Have you seen love, actually? You know that scene with the dude who had a thing for Kiera Knightly holding up the post-its? Yeah, just like that.
Enough. Enough now.
March 27, 2008 at 1:02 am
My theory on the why: it’s safe. Even if you don’t recognize it you might be ‘falling’ for someone unavailable because it’s safer. With FantasyGuy you will never actually be expected to change your life or make allowances for someone else. No one will see you on days when you spend 12 hours in bed just because you want to. You don’t have to clean the house or shave your legs or cook dinner or take out the garbage.
All that stuff plus the emotional side is a bloody lot of work and it’s a vulnerable-maker and a heart breaker and a self-doubt talker.
It’s also real and alive and scary and fun. It’s as slow as you want it to go and as far as you want it to go, no faster and no further. It’s someone returning the interest and that feels nice! It’s knowing you’re not imagining a connection and knowing that you are the prize at the end.
I totally get the daydreaming/fantasizing/falling for the unavailable boy. It lets you give the love part of your heart some exercise without having to actually risk anything. I get that!